Yam L'Yam, Bank Account Balagan, and So Much Proma

So it's been awhile since I've last written, and I apologize for that, but it's been pretty busy around here. Since I last wrote, I've gone on a four-day tiyul (hike) with a bunch of crazy Brits, Aussies, and South Africans, negotiated with agents at an Israeli bank, and attended Prom. (I also went to class, did my Hebrew homework, and went on a cleaning rampage, but don't worry, I'm not going to talk about verb tenses and how much this country loves squeegees.) Anyhow, I've been a little busy, but I'll go on and tell you all about the past two weeks.

As I mentioned briefly in my last post, Yam L'Yam is a hike that Workshop does every year with habos from England, Australia, and South Africa. Yam L'Yam literally translates to "Sea to Sea," and you hike from the Mediterranean Sea to the Kinneret, also called the Sea of Galilee, which lies on the eastern border of Israel. Here's the disclaimer: of the approximately 70 kilometers that separate the Mediterranean from the Kinneret, we only hiked about 40k, and were bused the rest of the way. A little bit of a letdown, I know, but it went something like this:

Tues Oct 6: Board the buses at Kibbutz Ein Dor and drive an hour and a half to the Meditteranean, where we meet up with the Australians and South Africans for a small ceremony. The ceremony basically involves filling a small water bottle with water from the Mediterranean in order to carry it to the Kinneret. The symbology is quite moving. When that's through we split up into our hiking groups - there are four groups, each with a roughly even distribution of North Americans, Brits, Aussies, and South Africans - and get back on the buses. We drive about half an hour to a trailhead where we eat lunch with our hiking groups and begin hiking. About 20 minutes into our hike, it appears that we've gone the wrong way, so we turn around and hike 20 minutes back out. Once we arrive back at our initial location, we take another trail which is apparently the right one. We hike about 4k, upon which we board the buses again and drive back to a camping site located a few minutes walk from where we started. Disillusionment #1. We put up tents and eat dinner, and Sara comments that the campsite resembles the Quidditch World Cup (tents, funny accents, etc). It begins to rain... and so ends day one.

Wed Oct 7: It appears that during the course of the first day of tiyul, many people have fallen ill with what can only be described as Shilshul Balagan ("shilshul" translates to diarrhea, and "balagan" to something like gong show or big mess). Nevertheless, we pack up our tents and (suprise!) get back on the buses, which drive us roughly 45 minutes to the starting location of today's hike. This portion of the hike is filled with cows, and cow pies, galore. Today we're hiking about 12k. At around 0.5k we begin the Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus singalongs. At around 3k we begin speaking in Russian accents. At 5k we see a dead wild boar. At 6k we stop for lunch, and at around 9k we give up on the singalongs and start doing superlatives to fill the time. For example, which girl on Workshop would have the biggest penis? Who's the best to bring home to parents? And who would make the most substantive meal? All hypothetically speaking, of course. When we finally finish the hike, we get back on the buses and drive to another location to camp for the night. Tonight there's a big campfire and the different groups take advantage of the opportunity to display some national pride. Tonight I also learn that when singing en masse, Australians sound like pirates.

Thurs Oct 8: The Shilshul Saga continues (yala balagan balagan balagan!) and a few more are added to their ranks. The hike today is similar to yesterday's... gorgeous scenery, Russian accents, and lots of Miley Cyrus. During the largest ascent which ends the day's hike, we break out in Miley Cyrus's "The Climb," which does wonderful things for the group's morale. Then we get back on the bus and return to last night's campsite. I love hiking 12k and arriving back in the same place. Tonight the group is finally starting to feel the effect of the last three days, and national pride is at significantly lower levels. This is a good thing because our tent is located in the British Quarter of the campsite, so we're able to avoid any turf wars or heated conversations involving the phrases "We won the war" or "All the Yankees are homos." (It's happened before.)

Fri Oct 9: On the last day of the hike we walk only 4k through a banana plantation and a few random parking lots. We have about an hour to swim in the Kinneret (which is noticeably dirtier after hosting the 120 dirtiest kids in Israel), then we eat lunch and end with another moving ceremony in which we dump our little bottle of Mediterranean water into the Kinneret. On the bus again back to the Kibbutz, and so ends Yam L'Bus L'Yam.

But it's not over! After a relaxing weekend, Simon and I, as treasurers of our kvutsah, head to Afulla (a small city about half an hour away from Kibbutz) to pick up our bank card for the account we opened the week previously. When we arrive at the bank, we take a number and wait patiently to see the agent. When our number is finally called, we go over to booth 27, expecting to easily retrieve our bank card. The only glitch was we had underestimated the power of corporate bureaucracy, and it turns out that we need our passports to receive our bank card because (as the agent so kindly put it) "How can I give card to you if I don't know that it's really you?" Touché. We both had our driver's licenses on us, but apparently that wasn't good enough. So we politely thank the man and retreat in order to regroup and strategize. You see it wasn't only a matter of not wanting to go back to kibbutz to get our passports; the problem was that our passports were currently at the American Embassy in order to get visas so we can stay in Israel past December.

We decide that, based on our observation thus far of Israeli society, you need to be aggressive in order to get things done. So we take another number and aggressively wait to see the agent again. When our number is called, we return to the agent's desk (who looks less than excited to see us again) and work through a near mathematical proof of how he can verify our identities using our driver's licenses and the documents we have brought with us from when we opened the account. Israeli Bank Man acknowledges that our argument is compelling, and sends us to another man to make our appeal. Israeli Bank Man #2 has a slightly larger desk and a tea set, so I assume he is the head of that section and has slightly more authority. We present our argument to him, and, convinced, he sends us back to Israeli Bank Man #1 to tell him that we have his approval. Israeli Bank Man #1 apologizes, reaches into his desk, and gives us the bank card. After signing about 100 pages of documents which we can neither read nor understand, we're out of there.

Moving right along to Prom, the next morning there's an announcement that Prom will be held Wednesday night, so we had best get dates as soon as possible. This is where the drama begins. Ringo asks Tali to prom that night, but she says he's not trying hard enough and she won't say yes until he does something creative. So Ringo writes a poem that goes something like "I'm bad at rhyming, but roses are blue... please go to prom with me." Tali says yes. However, Dave wanted to go to Prom with Ringo because they've been best friends since 2003, and Peacock wants to go to Prom with Dave. Meanwhile, Leya asks Joey to Prom, but Joey has already said yes to Jonah. Nevertheless in order to spare hurt feelings, Joey says yes to Leya also. The next two days continue in a similar fashion, punctuated by random Gossip Girl notes popping up on walls and mirrors and bulletin boards that read something like this: "Spotted. N eyeing S, even though M has already asked N to Prom. Will it last? XOXO, Gossip Girl."

Fortunately all the Proma (Prom + Drama... Proma) was resolved by the night of the big dance, and the most important night of my adolescent life is everything I had imagined it would be. My date, Erez, and I dress up as Wolverine and Storm (respectively). We fit in quite well with all the other couples, who are dressed as everything from Chuck and Blaire to Fred and Wilma to the Trailer Trash couple to the Emo Couple, complete with dark eye makeup and Panic-at-the-Disco hair. When we enter we take a picture in front of a Prom '09 sign, and then most of us hang out around the punch bowl until the Truth-or-Dare type festivities begin. Though my date couldn't help but pop a few balloons with his claws, and at the after-Prom party the Dutch girls took over our kitchen, the night went mostly without incidence.

Coming soon: navigating public transit in Tel Aviv with the help of many Israelis - and without the help of one very unhelpful Russian man. Have a good weekend! XOXO... oh god.